would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
