who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Vodka?
Forever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
