my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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