five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
