Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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