He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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