Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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