I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
