It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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