Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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