mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
