I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
