Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
