Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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