i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
false alarm, still single
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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