first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize