Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
