If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
