"it" just moved
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
