Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
