Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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