they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.