YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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