I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
