he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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