come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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