you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
