i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
