its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
