the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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