If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i out mim tonsoeep
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
