i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
