He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
