She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
