either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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