theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
