i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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