So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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