Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
did you just send me my own nude
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
