I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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