Who did Billy Mays play for?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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