I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
