You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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