The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
