Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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