We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
