i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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