Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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