I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
