Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
tell me about the eggs
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