Buhtt sex?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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