my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
