Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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