There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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